


Stop Lying

by didntwanderstillgotlost



Series: AU Where They Learned How to Translate Their Thoughts into Words Like Adult Humans [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Coda, Episode: s14e20 Moriah, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didntwanderstillgotlost/pseuds/didntwanderstillgotlost
Summary: The writers keeping wasting perfect opportunities, so I helped them
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: AU Where They Learned How to Translate Their Thoughts into Words Like Adult Humans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571155
Kudos: 33





	Stop Lying

**Author's Note:**

> The writers keeping wasting perfect opportunities, so I helped them

They couldn’t lie. Perfect. Just want Dean needed at the moment. He was pissed, he was hurting, and he had to tell the truth. _It’ll be fine,_ he told himself. Sam was the only one around, and Sam knew all his secrets anyway. Well, almost all of them, but the one that he was most afraid of was the one that was least likely to come up, so Dean decided not to dwell on it. After the riot at the tabloid office, Sam and Dean had skipped. The last thing they needed was to get caught up in it. Dean was driving, and Sam was on the phone with Rowena for the millionth time, trying to get a location on Jack.

Sam still believed the kid could be saved. Dean wasn’t so sure. It was one thing to be soulless. Sam had been soulless once, so that wasn’t new to him. But to be soulless with Jack’s level of power, that was completely uncharted territory. Killing him was the only option Dean could see, given that locking him up hadn’t worked. He didn’t necessarily want to kill the nephilim, he was a kid and he was family, but if it meant no one else got hurt, he would do it. A part of him had always known it would come to this anyway.

Dean drove back to the bunker on autopilot. He and Sam had been quiet the entire ride, as to avoid revealing any more unwanted truths. When they walked in, Dean saw Cas sitting at the table in the war room. He looked crushed. Dean felt a small pang of guilt because he knew it was partially his fault, but the rest of him was still angry, so he didn’t say anything as he walked past. He also wasn’t sure if the bunker was immune to Jack’s truth spell, so he didn’t want to risk saying anything.

“Dean.” The hunter fought the urge to look at the angel as he passed. He could feel the words wanting to come out, but he refused to say them. “Dean!” Cas had been raising his voice a lot lately, so Dean wasn’t phased as he continued to his room without a single glance at the angel. It hurt more than he wanted it to. Every cell in his body was itching to corner Cas and talk to him. Actually talk to him, but not now. Not when he couldn’t lie. He needed to lie. Not about everything, because that was a big part of what had gotten them into this mess in the first place, but there were some things that just couldn’t be said out loud. Dean sat on his bed and sighed. He was trying to decide his next move when there was a knock on his door.

“Sammy?”

“Dean.”

_Fuck off, Cas._

“Come in, Cas.” Dean cursed under his breath. The bunker wasn’t immune to the spell. And he had just given Cas an invitation to have a conversation with him. Cas opened the door and stepped into the room.

“Dean, can we talk?”

_No. Get out._

“Sure. Have a seat.” Cas sat in one of Dean’s chairs.

“I’m angry with you, Dean. I understand that you’re grieving, and you need time to process, but the way you’ve been treating me, and Jack, is not acceptable. Jack is our son. You have every right to be angry with him, you have every right not to trust him, but nothing gives you the right to threaten the life of a child. There’s always another way. You taught me that, and I still believe we can save Jack. We have to try, at least.” Dean had been fully prepared to tell Cas off because he didn’t want to deal with deep discussions right now. Instead, what came out of his mouth was,

“I don’t wanna lose you. I am mad at Jack, and I don’t trust him. I don’t want to kill him, not really. He was family once. But now, without his soul, I don’t even know who he is anymore. He’s not Jack. He’s a monster. He’s spiraling, and he can’t control his powers. Or he doesn’t want to. Killing him is the only way to keep everyone safe. What if someone accidentally pisses him off, and he kills them? This isn’t about revenge, Cas, this is about safety. He’s dangerous. I don’t wanna lose you over this, I don’t, but we can’t let him hurt anyone else.” Cas’ expression softened a fraction of a degree.

“You can’t lose me, Dean. You should know that by now. We fight, a lot more than usual lately, but that happens with family. I’m mad at you, but I haven’t stopped loving you.” Dean’s throat went dry. Cas didn’t seem at all embarrassed by the admission. He just sat with his head tilted slightly, and waited for the hunter to say something.

_That’s a bit forward,_ Dean wanted to joke.

“I haven’t stopped loving you either. I don’t even really know when I started. I just looked at you one day, and it clicked. I know I dump a lot of my crap on you, and that’s not fair. I know you think you’re expendable a lot of the time, and that’s not true. You’re important to us. You’re important to me. We wouldn’t be where we are today if it weren’t for you. You’ve sacrificed more than any of us, and we don’t thank you enough for it. I don’t thank you enough for it. I’ve spent the last ten years repressing my emotions, and pushing you away because I couldn’t deal with it. That isn’t fair to you. I don’t deserve the loyalty you’ve given me. I don’t deserve anything from you. I—.” Dean was cut off by a set of slightly chapped lips on his own. The kiss was hesitant, and over before he could even react to it.

“You ramble too much when you’re able to tell the truth,” Cas said. “You’re a remarkable man, Dean Winchester. You’re also a petulant child a lot of the time, but you have your reasons for that, and I accept it as part of your personality. This, between us, is not about what you do and don’t deserve. It just is. Like the sun in the sky, or the stars in the universe. It’s just there because it’s supposed to be. We’re connected. You can’t lose me because we’re bound together. You can fight back, and push me away forever, but I won’t go anywhere. Not really. Our love is unconditional because it has to be.”

As soon as Cas finished talking, Dean backed him against the wall and kissed him. It was rough, sloppy, and the best damn kiss Dean had ever had. Behind it was ten years of pent up feelings and unresolved sexual tension. It was everything Dean had been fighting against since he first realized his he was attracted to the angel. There were still issues to resolve, and Dean still had a lot to answer for, but, in that moment, neither one of them seemed to care. All that mattered was that they had each other, and they were never going to lose each other.


End file.
